Monday, June 28, 2010

1 month...

1 month left under the Arizona sun.

1 month to find a place to live

1 month until I sign my life away to student loans

1 month left with family close by

1 month left of familiarity

1 month left of zero humidity

1 month left in my comfort zone


P.S.  if you haven't guessed by now. . . I made my final decision and will be going to graduate school regardless of how much I will owe in the end.  Thanks everyone for all of your love and support, you're all amazing.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Fact: I am indecisive

Today it all started to hit me....

Life is way too expensive.

I began crunching the numbers in order to figure out just how much we needed for school and living expenses over the next two years.  I hit the equals button and the tears welled up.  How does anyone ever go to school and then live a normal life preceding?!

Students loans might be the saving grace for most but right now I think they are the devil.

I just see the final amount due and I can't breathe.  So today, I sat in front of my computer torn between two possible futures.  Could I really jeopardize our future finances for a graduate degree that I don't plan on using full time?  But would I be able to give up my ambitions and future goals in order to save money?

There are too many decisions to make... go to school, don't go to school . . . work after graduate school, start a family after graduate school . . . be a full time mom, work and be a mom . . . spend more on rent, sacrifice gas and safety . . . spend more and eat healthy, spend less and eat macaroni & cheese . . .

I hate making decisions....especially ones that involve money.

P.S.  Oh yeah, I graduated . . .hooray